Sonic Screwdrivers can cut your vagina.

jathis:

cartel:

walking into the wrong class

image

THAT OWL LOOKS SO FUCKING

BEFUDDLED

(via tardis-sex)

thekizz:

brandonplease:

You can’t not reblog this.

You just can’t.

gardenburger:

dark-dionysian-nsfw:

gardenburger:

HOW COME WHEN HARRY GETS BITTEN BY THE BASILISK IN CHAMBER OF SECRETS THAT DOESNT DESTROY THE HORCRUX IN HIM SOMEONE ANSWER THIS???

Because…

Because… Shit.

Can we get JKR on the phone ?

yes let me just pull out her number real quick hang on yes hello 911 can i speak to jkr pls

(via lilyweasley)

macusers:

[lawyer voice] the prosecution makes a compelling argument, but have you considered this *puts middle finger up*

(via ichangemyurlmorethanmyunderwear)

klefable:

shockingly, kids are sick and tired of paying hundreds of dollars for overpriced stacks of paper!!!!!! who wouldve thought!!!!!!
seanbeanisaredshirt:

harokissmile:

ksteeno:

spoookyscary:

After succumbing to a fever of some sort in 1705, Irish woman Margorie McCall was hastily buried to prevent the spread of whatever had done her in. Margorie was buried with a valuable ring, which her husband had been unable to remove due to swelling. This made her an even better target for body snatchers, who could cash in on both the corpse and the ring.
The evening after Margorie was buried, before the soil had even settled, the grave-robbers showed up and started digging. Unable to pry the ring off the finger, they decided to cut the finger off. As soon as blood was drawn, Margorie awoke from her coma, sat straight up and screamed.
The fate of the grave-robbers remains unknown. One story says the men dropped dead on the spot, while another claims they fled and never returned to their chosen profession.
Margorie climbed out of the hole and made her way back to her home.
Her husband John, a doctor, was at home with the children when he heard a knock at the door. He told the children, “If your mother were still alive, I’d swear that was her knock.”
When he opened the door to find his wife standing there, dressed in her burial clothes, blood dripping from her finger but very much alive, he dropped dead to the floor. He was buried in the plot Margorie had vacated.
Margorie went on to re-marry and have several children. When she did finally die, she was returned to Shankill Cemetery in Lurgan, Ireland, where her gravestone still stands. It bears the inscription “Lived Once, Buried Twice.”

what did i just read

Irish women are strong as fuck

I’m Irish and I can conclude that we are motherfucking metal
spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace:

I read the tweet, and then I read the username.

deathbymorning:

eggsnogging:

in my senior drama class i had to play gordon ramsay for a film project but we could only film in school so we had to try to find a closed off room to use. the thing is the room wasn’t exactly soundproof and apparently someone heard us and that’s the story of how the vice principal and four freshmen walked in on me wearing a chef’s hat and yelling at my friend because her squid was so raw i could still hear it telling spongebob to fuck off

did you get an A

(Source: xylemphone, via whatarefishfingers)

A snazzyspace.com Theme A snazzyspace.com Theme