Sonic Screwdrivers can cut your vagina.

upallnightogetloki:

goldenmcnugga:

laughbitches:

bennydickcumerbund:

Hey guys

You know this scene?

image

They weren’t supposed to touch him

I still would’ve 

Same

I know Hayley’s was unscripted but if Dominic wasn’t supposed to touch him either, that just makes everything that much more hilarious because Chris Evans’s milkshake brings EVERYONE to the yard.

(Source: hurdygurdyflurdy, via the-redhead-in-a-dress)

bessibels:

neverbat:

mylittledraenei:

blue-author:

addictinginfo:

Minimum wage should be linked to the poverty level. 

This is basic economic fact.
A business that claims it can’t afford to pay a living wage to its workers is admitting that by definition it fails to meet its basic operating expenses. That major multinational corporations can be “successful” while failing to meet a basic operating expense is only possible because We The People pick up their greedy/lazy slack through taxes and charity. 
And yet somehow it’s everybody else who’s a moocher and a looter…
And this corrosive greed is a big part of what’s slowly poisoning the U.S. economy. Money being hoarded at the top and put in “safe” investments and bank accounts is money that does nothing for no one. It’s just an elaborate means of keeping score. Money put into the hands of the workers does what money is meant to do: it circulates. It gets spent. The same dollar will go through dozens of sets of hands, touching dozens of lives, feeding dozens of people and sparking profits for dozens of businesses. The same dollar, in the hands of the rich, will generally do… nothing. It won’t create jobs. It won’t fund innovations. It won’t start businesses.
Less than 1% of corporate revenues become wages for workers. Less than 3% of the wealthy are actually entrepreneurs (people who risk their money on business ventures that create jobs). 
But 100% of the working class spends their money. That money creates jobs. That money fuels innovations. That money becomes profits. That money keeps the economy ticking.
We have been lied to about who are the parasites and who are the drivers of the economy. We have largely accepted a view of money as a means of keeping score and the economy as something that must have winners and losers, rather than money being a proxy for barter and an economy being a way to divide the labor of society and distribute the load of living

#poverty #classism

"A business that claims it can’t afford to pay a living wage to its workers is admitting that by definition it fails to meet its basic operating expenses."

"Less than 1% of corporate revenues become wages for the workers."
giraffepoliceforce:

Still pretty proud of my response to this.
everything-is-stickers:

How old is this photo.
Because it’s set up like Grandpappy sitting on the rocker telling the youngin’s about his youth.
But at this point in history it looks like one old guy took the only chair and made the rest of his elderly friends sit on the pavement because he’s the senior senior.
Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)
  • Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there?
  • Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
  • Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
  • Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
  • Dad: Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
  • Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
  • Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
  • Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
  • Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
  • Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
  • Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
  • Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
  • Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
  • Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
  • Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
  • Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
  • Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
  • Dad: Fuck the government.
  • Dad: Fuck the school board.
  • Dad: Close the door.
  • Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
  • Dad: I love puns.
  • Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
  • Dad: Please shut up.
  • Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
  • Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
  • Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were a part of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
  • Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
  • Dad: Barbara Parks is fucking Queen.
  • Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
  • Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
  • Dad: They act like I care what they think.
  • Dad: I hate homework.
  • Dad: I have decided to become a politician.
  • Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.

sansaofhousestark:

doctorkpepper:

henrycavills:

in movies when kids sneak out through their windows and im just like why dont you have screens in your windows who doesnt have screens in their windows what do you just let bees and bugs and birds and shit fly into your room what the fuck

this is why you guys had the black plague.

(via dromedarypenguin)

heartless:

It’s annoying when you are fucking fed up with someone’s shit but you don’t want to start something so you have to pretend like you don’t care

(via superwholocknerd)

wholetjackdrive:

so my dad texted me this and said “i think i just beat 2048” jfc

butt-grab:

so we went to an improv show and we played this game where somebody is given a trait and another player has to guess what it is based on how they answer questions

and one of the players who was a taxidermist was asked “what do you do for a living?” and she replied “oh you know…. stuff” AND TO THIS DAY THAT IS THE GREATEST PUN I HAVE EVER HEARD MY GOD

(via ohmyseason6cas)

pinkmeeup:

palegem:

Men want us to kiss them with beards, suck their dicks and kiss their balls with pubes, hug them with hairy arm pits, intwine our legs with hairy thighs, but if women have one hair on our body that isn’t on our head it’s disgusting

Reblog Everytime

(via ohmyseason6cas)

crystalsoulslayer:

procyonvulpecula:

pagannerd:

proxydialogue:

anneretic:

infinity-imagined:

The collision between the Milky Way Galaxy and the Andromeda Galaxy.

the grand showdown

Andromeda is a bit bigger than us. So when that happens, Andromeda’s black hole is gonna consume our black hole in a vicious act of galactic canabalism. 
Which is an actual term used in astronomy apparently. 

“Galactic Cannabalism” sounds like an electro/death metal fusion band.

Galactic cannibalism is one of my favourite astronomical terms, but it doesn’t beat the term used for the stretching out into a long thin tube that occurs when something falls into a black hole (spaghettification) or the term used for a rock thought to be a meteorite but which later turns out to be an ordinary terrestrial rock (meteowrong).

SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE
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